hooray!

so last night.. I went to my weight watchers meeting. The second meeting so far. I lost three pounds this week! I was definately suprised, especially because I have been so lax this past week. But I have made an effort to be more mindful of what I take into my body. I want to exercise. I have been thinking about going to a gym... just don't know if I feel like paying 40 dollars a month! ha. I have to get a new phone this month and it's gonna be 200. Three pounds seems so insignificant... but it's definately what I needed to keep myself motivated. I feel like I can do this. Although I feel like this diet has put me more on edge. I'm just so stressed out all the time and I've found myself getting irritated at things I wouldn't normally get irritated at. I feel the same feelings I think a lot of other people feel in the struggle to lose weight- I just want it gone NOW and I would be happy. I just look in the mirror sometimes and feel gross. Not attractive, not likeable, just gross. One of the main reasons I'm doing this is so I don't feel that way anymore. Usually I'm not so hard on myself but Ithink with the numbers of how much I weigh constantly on my mind it's making it hard to stay positive. A lot of dieting is mental. I know that.